Handling a Setback

Last week, I suddenly felt an excruciating bone pain in my left hip/back area. Since I have a metastasis (met) there, I've felt a dull soreness before, but never a debilitating pain. I was unable to walk without assistance. I called my oncologist immediately and he scheduled a PET scan for me. I speculated that the bone met might have grown or I might have another met in the vicinity.

After the scan, my oncologist confirmed my suspicions. I choked up as he told me that the PET scan showed growth in the mets located in my hip, spine, lymph nodes, and lungs. Luckily, there were some decreases in the other mets in my lungs. For now, I will stay with my immuno-therapy treatment, but I need to consult with a radiation oncologist to determine whether to radiate the hip area. 

The thought of getting radiation again was unpleasant. The nausea, fatigue, and other harsh side effects was something I did not want to ever experience again. I want to move forward with this, but instead I felt like I was diagnosed with cancer again. All the thoughts of death and incapacity came flooding back. Eventually, I had to accept that the road to recovery is not linear. A bump in the road or a roadblock only means that you have to take an alternate road to your destination.